Tonight I had the occasion amidst my weekly soccer match of going after a loose ball in front of the goal, whereby I met the other team's striker, my keeper, and my keeper's elbow. Me the elbow were intimately acquainted, and I awoke inside the penalty box 5-10 seconds later.
I left the field of my own accord and watched the remainder of the game. Two concerns evolved in my mind, one of greater weight than the other. First, I couldn't close my mouth. Second, I would have to share said reality with my wife (I'll let you decide which of the concerns concerned me the most).
An hour of internet [sic] research has encouraged me to join the Waitansee Tribe in the hopes that things are better tomorrow. And seeing as though Maggie is table dancing in Vegas with her girlfriends for the weekend, I'm going to delay the inevitable.