The Bowling Christmas Experiment

Christmas is aimed to be the most benevolently wonderful moment of the year, the point in time where God fully reached out to His creation to bring us into the fold.

I have been a Christian my entire adult life, but have never quite captured this sweet essence of Christmas; rather, I most honestly associate December with obligatory obligations, deadline stress, busy to the point of feeling unhealthy, eating to the point of being unhealthy, and the yoke of how.I’m.supposed.to.feel.

Maggie and I endeavor to develop a simple and pure relationship between our nuclear family, Christmas, and Jesus, the latter being the most difficult portion to include in the experience. It is neither easy nor fully implemented. At a minimum, I hope that our children more naturally associate this month with Jesus than I do.

I am away from home this Christmas (to be immortalized in my soon to be released Country song). The typical challenges of being away are magnified this week. For Maggie and me, this is our most service-oriented Christmas yet:

she where she is, and

I where I am.

I hope that our experiences help us embed the soul of Christmas in our reality.

I hope that my absence from home and my presence here will help deepen my shallow appreciation for this sacramental celebration.

When I was a kid... (part 1)

When I was a kid, "Jinx" meant something. You might be chatting with a group of friends, and two of you innocently slip the same word out. There's a pause, pregnant, broken by panicked "JINX!". Crap! Both yelled out at the same moment; time for plan 'B': "one-two-three-four-fi-si-sevn-eigh-ni-ten, JINX!" Got 'em.
Or you might be on the prowl, listening to your rambling friend with one ear while patiently anticipating his every word, until at just the right moment you double him up, followed immediately by "JINX!". The slower responder man'd up, and stayed silent until their name was spoken aloud, and the sacred spell was broken.

This is lost on my youngest two. Jinx has devolved into a community activity, announced to one another, where we repeat "Jinx" over and over while giggling and not succumbing to its inherent powers. Once it is revealed that "Jinx" has no control over the mutual participants, we start calling out "Peanuts", hoping that word conjures some additional humor.

When I was a kid...

Dwell in the comprehension that another loves you? Lie in that place of rest? Need to have an understanding of what love is, love defined to a depth wherein serenity lies.

God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:8

The words of love are unfulfilling: they may excite the ears and calm the nerves, but you will not rest long with them. They are empty bedfellows.

We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us;
1 John 3:16a

Love is comprehended through mutual experience. For one to remain faithful, to continue to care for you even as they witness, experience and suffer as a result of they reality of who you are (and are not), in these times the comprehension of what love is is birthed, established, accepted, settled into, and poured over our heads with peace.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:8
To be able to rest, to sleep deeply, to be a bit careless in your life... you must be loved unconditionally by someone truly trustworthy. To learn what it is to love, we must be loved in this defining manner.

He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul;
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me;
Psalm 23:2,3,4

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Garrett is in a very different spot than Emily, Louise and Elizabeth. Maggie is 'Mama' and I am 'Daddy', but while those are deeply ingrained and comforting roles and words and people to Emily, Louise and Elizabeth, they are just names of two tall people who are generally nice to him. Garrett has not the experience with either of us to rest fully in our presence. He does not yet know what love is.
So every day, as he causes and finds and gets into the trouble of being a two-year-old, he is suffering in the fear and anguish of in-experience... he does not know what love is. I can whisper those cliched words over him ("I love you"); none of it will settle over him until time and experience reveals love to him.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.1 John 4:18-19

As a parent for seven years, I have not really thought this responsibility. I understand how folks struggle with God's love because they do not know His definition, have not experienced and therefore been taught what love is. It is an emotional risk to give and receive this love. I am commissioned to bring Gods' love into Garrett's life, into all of my children's lives. It hurts to watch him not rest in my love. God must suffer as sees most of his creation not rest in Him. As we have been home these three months with Garrett, I believe I have learned a bit of this suffering.

Be gracious to me, O God, according to Thy lovingkindness;
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Psalm 51: 1,2,7