A Bit of a Letdown

10 weeks ago (read this) I experienced some level of a healing, a personal healing of my jaw, which was misplaced 20 weeks ago (read here). Not sure what happened, and scared to share this healing before others in case I was wrong, I kept quiet. Daily, I awoke, and told God that tomorrow I would share the good news. 

After a few weeks, my jaw, not hurting yet still the constant focus of my every thought, began to hurt again. And after a few more weeks, it hurt as much as it ever had.

What does that say about me, God, healing, and the physical dynamic of my jaw line? Am I in pain because I didn't have the faith to announce to the world God's healing? Was I not in pain before because I had faith that God healed me? If God is directly involved with my jaw, then (respectfully) what is His angle?

Today, I asked my Doctor for his advice. Dr. Saltz encouraged patience, that my tendons (or ligaments, I can never remember which is which) are stretched out, and that it will take 6+ months to heal. Bring on the pills, don't chew gum, seek understanding, and hope my jaw heals.

Do you believe in Miracles

Well, I sort of do. I generally believe, and am happy to believe. But I'm not one to bother God with my own needs, and wouldn't think to ask for supernatural relief.

10 weeks ago (read here}, my jaw was moved east-west in what would seem some sort of hyper-extension (I don't know the medical definition of this term, but it seems to fit all the same). I spent a week drinking my meals, and have been dropping Advil in ever orifice I can find since then. 

Tonight I watched the independent documentary film Finger of God on Netflix. Not even sure where I heard of this film, but I put it on our queue sometime back and watched it tonight. The film centers on the healing work of the Holy Spirit. It was reasonable, not garish, and didn't ask for money; as someone who is happy to believe in God's miracles for others, I enjoyed the film, and allowed that its presence stretched me. Good job, God. Well done on that miracle; the recipient seems very happy. 

As the film finishes, a 'typical' flashy Reverend Mr. Pastor Jimmy Joe Johnson (not his real name, but you can get a flavor of my hesitancy) stares into the camera, and prays for the viewer, prays for their healing. And I sit there, quiet as a ghost, sweating and clammy, while my inner ear started cracking, a distinct cold feeling developed in my ear canal and traveled down my right neckline, and the chronic pain of the past 10 weeks subsided.

Holy moly. 

I haven't shared this injury with anyone save my wife, and need some time to process this before sharing this with others... (excepting you, my beloved readership). I am talking with God on this and hoping for the best. 

Glass Jaw

Tonight I had the occasion amidst my weekly soccer match of going after a loose ball in front of the goal, whereby I met the other team's striker, my keeper, and my keeper's elbow. Me the elbow were intimately acquainted, and I awoke inside the penalty box 5-10 seconds later. 

I left the field of my own accord and watched the remainder of the game. Two concerns evolved in my mind, one of greater weight than the other. First, I couldn't close my mouth. Second, I would have to share said reality with my wife (I'll let you decide which of the concerns concerned me the most).

An hour of internet [sic] research has encouraged me to join the Waitansee Tribe in the hopes that things are better tomorrow. And seeing as though Maggie is table dancing in Vegas with her girlfriends for the weekend, I'm going to delay the inevitable.