My Lent Score

Not growing up in church, and then coming to faith in a church that did not acknowledge anything not explicitly written in Scripture, I do not have much formal education regarding 'Lent'. However, I enjoy the study of history, the connections we make across generations, and making things hard for myself.

For the previous couple of years, in the 40 days leading up to Easter, I have chosen to give up all drinks except water. This is a simple yet challenging goal, and while I am not sure it actually brought me closer to God, it did stretch my personal patience and strengthened my ability to abide by my word.

In a fit of lunacy, I decided to take the next plunge: no meat (a rather hasty consideration).

1. W 3/9 - Ate spaghetti sauce at supper - in Haiti, and seemed like the right course of action, since it was served to me. In hindsight, should have had the noodles san sauce.
2. T 3/10 - Eggs at breakfast - in Haiti and still being served - totally forgot - not doing so well. Maggie says 'eggs' don't count. Not sure on that one.
3. F 3/11 - Still in Haiti, but found a way to sneak through the day without partaking
4. S 3/12 - Haiti end-of-the-trip dinner - ate Fish - I don't know for sure, but I've been told that doesn't count - seems like cheating to me.
5. S 3/13 - After the 7th hour in the Port au Prince airport, given a voucher and eat a chicken sandwich - I've failed the test at least 3 of 5 days.
6. M 3/14 - Clean
7. T 3/15 - Clean
8. W 3/16 - 80% through a 4" sub sandwich I was served at a lunch meeting, I realize my error. Totally forgot.
9. T 3/17 - St. Patrick's Day, to be celebrated with Veggies, as the Irish before me did ??? Clean.
10. F 3/18 - Clean
11. S 3/19 - Clean, including having to grill out for everyone else for Eliza's Birthday Party
12. S 3/20 - Ate two leftover hamburgers - there is a LOT of leftover food, and Sunday's are supposed to be celebration days where the lent fast is broken. I didn't intend to 'cheat', but it is ridiculous to throw the food away.
13. M 3/21 - Clean
14. T 3/22 - Felt tired of doing this. Ate a seafood burrito for lunch. They say that seafood doesn't count, so I don't know if I cheated or not. It sure made me feel better to eat it.
15. W 3/23 - Clean
16. T 3/24 - Clean
17. F 3/25 - Traditionally Clean - ate DQ Fried Shrimp for lunch (why?) and a Shellfish dinner with Emily for her BD in Chattanooga
18. S 3/26 - Clean
19. S 3/27 - Day Off - Ate a mini chicken burger and mini turkey burger at Ruby Tuesdays.
20. M 3/28 - Clean - ate eggs at Brinner - Maggie says its OK. Not sure what to think.
21. T 3/29 - AGGHHH!!!! - Halfway through my Taco Bell meal with the guys from work, I remember. Of all the ways to fall off the wagon, and I waste it on Taco Bell - probably not even real meat anyway.
22. W 3/30 - Clean
23. T 3/31 - Emily's Birthday at Viva - I at the remainder of her Chicken Nachos
24. F 4/1 - I failed miserably, eating 2 orders of ribs from Johnny's BBQ. April Fools! Actually went to Buffalo Wild Wings with the guy and at Mozzarella Sticks and Fried Mushrooms.
25. S 4/2 - This is pitiful - ate a few bites of ground beef within a spaghetti mixture - picked around a decent bit - if you are going to fall, this is NOT the way to go.
26. S 4/3 - Day Off - I mean, Day of Celebration - split a Turkey Club with Mags at lunch.
27. M 4/4 - Clean
28. T 4/5 - Clean
29. W 4/6 - Clean (ate shrimp)
30. T 4/7 - Clean
31. F 4/8 - Fell victim to a coworker Zaxby's run - I tried to buy a House Salad and Fried Mushrooms for $6, but I couldn't make myself do it, so it was the $6 Chicken Finger meal with Fries and a Tea.
32. S 4/9 - When you are at your in-laws, and the neighbor, in celebration of your visit, brings the best Ribs on the planet, you must politely accept. Must.
33. S 4/10 - Swapped this cheat day with the yesterday - seemed only fair.
34. M 4/11 - Clean
35. T 4/12 - Clean
36. W 4/13 - Clean
37. T 4/14 - Clean - When you don't plan for a veggie-meal, it is pretty difficult to get one. There's no 'veggie fast-food' joints. You just have to order french fries and a side salad.
38. F 4/15 - Some sort of seafood was eaten - Catholic for a day.
39. S 4/16 - Was planning on cheating, hanging out with the guys after insulating the attic... but really didn't feel like it. This no-meat thing gets easier over time.
40. S 4/17 - Celebration Day - ate KFC for dinner after soccer.
41. M 4/18 - In a point of stressed out, too busy for my own good, worked through lunch and now driving across town late for a meeting weakness, I ate a small Chicken Biscuit from Martins. Should have gotten a large.
42. T 4/19 - Clean
43. W 4/20 - Clean
44. T 4/21 - Clean
45. F 4/22 - My last Dept Mtg at Gaskins, culminating in a trip to Johnny's BBQ for old time's sake. Pork Thrift Plate - barely finished the meat, left half the fries. Something is wrong with me.
46. S 4/23 - Rocko's 40th BD at Pappadeaux's. Had to revert to my Orthodox side, and enjoy the Pan-Fried Catfish topped with Oysters, Shrimp and Crab-Meat.

I'm my own worst enemy...

I am changing jobs (which is a saga in and of itself), which in turn means I am in the market for an automobile, having the luxury of a company vehicle the past few years. I have been the primary driver of only a few vehicles in my lifetime:

1. 1992-1997: '86 Pontiac Grand-Am, which belonged to my mom [hand-me-down]
2. 1997-1998: '83 Volkswagon Vanagon, a gift from my uncle [hand-me-down]
3. 1998-1999: a myriad of borrowed vehicles in Australia and Thailand
4. 1999-2001: the Grand-Am again; dad took the van for his own [hand-me-down]
5. 2001-2005: '96 Geo Metro (the low point, Maggie's wedding dowry) [hand-me-down]
6. 2005-2008: '01 Subaru Outback, inheriting from Maggie as the Bowling fam decides to jump into Minivan country for her car [hand-me-down]
7. 2008-present: '06 Jeep Grand Cherokee, which belongs to my (former) boss [hand-me-down]

Now I have to buy a vehicle of my own, for myself, which is a strangely new experience. As an engineer's-engineer, I have taken this effort a bit seriously:

April 5th - Four hours in a first look at Consumer Reports, determining all eligible car options. For those of you who did not make the cut, regardless of price, color or style, you are dead to me. The initial contenders:

Hatchback: Sedan

Honda Civic Honda Accord

Honda Fit Honda Civic

Mazda3 Mazda6

Nissan Versa Nissan Altima

Toyota Matrix Nissan Sentra

Toyota Camry

Toyota Corolla

Toyota Yaris

April 10th - a second look, to narrow the pack down to:

Hatchback: Sedan

Mazda3 Honda Accord

Toyota Matrix Honda Civic

Mazda6

Toyota Camry

Toyota Corolla

Volkswagon Jetta (I cheated, and added this one)

April 15th, a trip to Carmax, where I ask to sit in each of these models and see what I think. Now I only have:

Hatchback: Sedan

Mazda3 Honda Accord

Honda Civic

Volkswagon Jetta

April 19th, I return to Carmax with a 3rd party observer, and ask to drive them. I walk away with the following options:

Sedan

Honda Accord

Honda Civic

Volkswagon Jetta

April 20th, I look at 5 local dealership websites and Autotrader.com and print out ALL eligible sales, based upon mileage, cost, and the ALL-IMPORTANT I'm NOT driving old-man-tan or old-car-silver. Turns out I have 7 Accords, 9 Civics & 11 Jettas to choose from. After a talk with the Misses, the Civic is stricken from the list and the cars to assess is weeded down to 3 Accords & 6 Jettas.

Time to start pitting these folks against each other and see who comes out on top.

April 23rd, Leave the house at 10:30am to VW Lithia Springs - look at 3 Jettas. Decide on one. Talk Maggie into going to VW South Atlanta, "only 20 minutes away", just to check their inventory to make a final decision. Key "VW South Atlanta" into my Droid, and have Maggie direct me. When we finish up in Westview, in what is obviously not Car Dealership country, we know something is wrong. So, we key in the address into my car's Nav system, which takes us due south, parallel to I-85. "Why don't we just get on 85," Maggie asks. "Dunno, let's just follow the directions. Already got lost once."

After about 37 turns through Cambellton, East Point, College Park, Camp Creek, I finally relent and we get on I-85. Two miles later, the Nav tells us to get off the exit... there must be some reason. After another 13 minutes driving 4 miles south through red-lightville, I realize that the Nav is on the "No Freeway" setting.

65 minutes after leaving Lithia Springs, we pull into VW South Atlanta, where Maggie turns to me and states with clear authority: "We are NOT leaving here without a car." And so, finishing the deal at 5:10pm, I drive away with a '08 VW Jetta, the first car I've ever bought for myself.

I love the BBC

Tent Stakes

I have been amidst a major career decision the past two years, year, four months, 6 weeks, 2 weeks and finally day. What a ride, trying pick from two very different destinations whose journeys would contrast in almost every way. It is a blessing is to have options. I am grateful to have them as well as having to learn from myself what I want, what I was made for, where I want to go. In many ways (as I was reminded by my lovely wife), it was a return to who I was and who I wanted to be when I was young enough to not realize that the world is challenging. As a person of faith, we should continue living in that world, with requests and hope that God will help us overcome the challenges of the world.

You are tempted to write out a scorecard, to list all of the positives and negatives of the differing job options and tally them. But a calling is not a comparison between options, it is a matching of an option to who you are.

What is important to me? The most thorough answer would involve traversing years of journals and seeing what they say back to me. But that takes too long, and I am sleepy, so here are my tent stakes, the items that hold in place who I am.

• Work needs to be important and valuable to the world and works of God.
• I want to work with like-minded people - those who view the job as a service to others.
• Flexibility based in performance success - if I prove myself trustworthy, then I want to the room to act independently.
• I do not want to be an administrator. I was fooled to believe that leadership was administration. That is wrong, and it disagrees terribly with me.
• People are first. When faced with a decision between business, profit, reputation, perceived success... give the individual priority, whether that be your client, coworker, boss or wife. If in doubt, the person deserves the benefit over the object.
• I will not lie, cheat or steal to accomplish my, my company or my client's goals. I am willing to lose my job before my integrity.
• I am a leader. I have spent the last few years attempting to abdicate myself from this reality, and it is like trying to cut out a part of my soul. I need to embrace this part of who I am, who I am called to be, in a manner that vitalizes me and those I am with.

How I am not like Jesus

We are called to conform to the likeness of Jesus.

What was He like?

Amongst His many attributes, we find:

Kindness: giving people the benefit of the doubt, being for them, a shepherd.

Compassion: not succumbing to cynicism before a foolish audience who won't learn, sheltering them from evil without and within, healing body, mind and soul.

Power: walking forward in the faith of His Father and the action-ministry of the Great I Am, transforming people (not merely soothing them)

I lack "power" - I don't normally dare ask God to bother with me - I don't deserve His attention. I don't seek His supernatural intervention with me... and that bleeds over to my intercession for others.

I have recognized this reality for two years, and started acting to overcome this weakness (this lack of faith in God and understanding of the world and myself) one year ago. This day I am in the midst of the movement of God in my life, Him reaching into my world and moving, twisting, altering in ways only He can. I rejoice today, and will decide in the days to come whether to learn from this experience, to see His power and take hold of it, or not.