An
unexpected email yesterday from the Thomas Eye Group, a rather large
outfit here in Atlanta. Maggie had nominated me as one worthy of free
LASIK surgery, writing a short essay of my general contributions to life
(taking her cue from the political establishment, the writing exaggerates the reality).
Worthy or not, it is a generous gesture. The trick, for myself and the
two other finalists, was to convince the Facebook world to 'like' one of
us the most.
Somehow
I am expected to branch out and ask friends, Romans, countrymen to do
the great favor of "liking" me, crossing all sorts of indeterminate
lines in my life. But if Maggie has gone out on this limb to honor me,
and Thomas Eye has taken a step of faith that this gift of theirs will
gain some sort of advertisement medium, I need to swallow my introverted
pride and get bawdy.
In
a moment of appropriate irony, LASIK is something I would love to have,
but will never likely put on the top of the list of financial
expenditures ("Sorry, kids. No Disney this year. Dad doesn't like his glasses."). I
am now being asked to win a LASIK contest to move this dream-ticket to
the top of the heap, as long as I engage in self-promotion, distinctly
at the bottom of my activity-list.
"Uhmmm, excuse me, but would you mind clicking this link and 'liking' me?" - too pitiful.
"My wife really wants you to..." - don't hide behind Maggie; be a man.
"This is SO CRAZY! I cannot believe that this once in a lifetime
opportunity has landed on my lap. I'm just hoping you want to join me in
this." - too bobble-headed.
Time to start begging...